The elephant in the room

Starting with disclaimer again because I'm not a psychologist...and I encourage anyone who needs it to see a psychologist.

Suicidal thoughts are the elephant in the room. Unfortunately, in New Zealand, we have one of the higest rates of suicide in the world. And it's this shameful secret that we just keep to ourselves and never talk about.

And I think that's the wrong approach. There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling suicidal...in fact, thinking about it happens to most people in our lives. It's better to talk about it, understand why those feelings are occurring and then figure out the next steps.

So why do we have suicidal thoughts? I can't speak for every person...but for me, it's due to being completely overwhelmed. It can be anything but my brain struggles and completely overloads. And when it does that, I start dwelling on thoughts of suicide.

When you're anxious, your brain is in primitive mode. It is constantly looking for a way to escape the situation you're in. And it has a default...if it can't find any other way of escape, it locks in Self Destruct. And once it's gone into that mode once...it's very hard for it not to set it as default mode for every time you're overwhelmed, even slightly. Sometimes it even gets ridiculous...I failed a simple task and my brain goes "no way...let's engage Plan B"...and I think "seriously, what the hell is wrong with you, brain".

It's hard to be aware of your brain enough to be able to challenge it's thinking...it takes years and years of practice. I always find the easiest way is when you get the thoughts to just think WHY. Primitive brain thinks of ACTION...it's not really good at thinking things through. As soon as you start thinking things through, while doing coping strategies, your primitive brain will eventually stop. It takes practice and is part of a therapy process called Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I found that while it's not always 100% effective with BPD, it does help when I'm depressed. I started learning it with a psychologist and I highly recommend that as the best way to learn how to negotiate with an unruly brain.