I'm not a serial killer!

90% of serial killers represented by the media usually have some form of mental illness...and it seems a firm favourite is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder  (OCD), which means people naturally assume someone with OCD is scary and they're probably going to flip out and kill you if you use the wrong cutlery.

Ahhh. This couldn't be further from the truth. Borderline Personality Disorder unfortunately steals a lot of compulsive behavior from OCD...which means I like my set routines, I like to follow rituals to help me get through the day, I'm a worrier and I'm fastidious, especially about washing my hands. I wash my hands at least ten times just while making food. I wash my hands several times when going out...there are times when I wash my hands so much they're chafed and cracked. I don't like shaking hands...my instinct is to wash my hands.

OCD behaviours can be incredibly frustrating.  When I cannot do my rituals...say I come home and someone's using the bathroom and I can't wash my hands...it's so FRUSTRATING.  It's the most frustrating thing in the world for me. It's because I've been so focused on something to help me stay in control and now that I can't, my instinct goes straight to anger. The best way to describe it is when you're in a car and about to change lanes so you can turn into your street. You've done your checks, popped your indicator on and gotten ready to make the switch BUT now there's this guy who's just bulled his way into the other lane and is complete blocking your space. And your street is coming up...so you start panicking.

It's exactly the same with me and OCD. I'm going to straight up be frustrated and will snap easier, simply because I NEED to do my rituals to feel ok. I may get angry...but I'm NOT a serial killer. Neither is anyone else with OCD. Our rituals are designed to keep ourselves safe. We do them because we're probably the most afraid people in the world.

Don't tiptoe around someone with OCD. If you can see they feel agitated just ask what they need to feel safe...that's all you need to do. And try not to take to heart any angry comments...it's not your fault and it's not their fault, sometimes things just happen.