I recently got a job...which is a yay for me. But after I made it quite clear that using a telephone was an absolute no for me...my new employer has translated that to "oh, she doesn't LIKE to use a phone".
It's a disability for me. How did it come about? Well, first I had a high stress job at a contact centre that completely fell apart and I had a massive breakdown. There's a two month stand down to get onto government help...I was broke...but waiting for a large pay out from my employers. I couldn't get any help. I was sick...had no money...couldn't pay my rent...couldn't pay my car payments and had no food. And the phone became a thing of fear to me...I was getting call after call demanding money I just didn't have. And I was having to call to try and sort out where my money was from my employers. Even the dial tone or sounds of a phone ringing absolutely terrify me.
The next time I used a phone, I was forced to by my family to help with my father's funeral. I was already on high stress and this put me over...I ended up in respite care. While I was in care, Adult Mental Health kept calling me and calling me...standard procedure for someone on a suicide watch...but in my case it just made me more stressed out. I begged them not to call...my doctor begged them not to call...they did it regardless. In the end, I threw my phone away.
I have a phone now, of course. I can do anything on it...apart from call or take calls. I can instant message, text...even Skype. But it frustrates me that I'm viewed as pretty much unemployable in my field due to not being able to take calls.
And that leads me to the point of this post...there's this sad implicit thing where people without illness feel this need to PROVE that you are not unwell...when you are unwell. It's frustrating...especially when you're trying the best you can. Here's the thing...people don't ask someone with cancer to PROVE they're sick. People don't ask people in a wheelchair to PROVE they can't walk. BUT it's perfectly acceptable to ask someone with mental illness to prove themselves. It's perfectly acceptable to assume that we're just lazy or just don't want to do things, rather then that we actually can't.
I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE MY MENTAL ILLNESS. I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING.
It's a complete barrier to achieving a semblance of wellness. So I can't use a phone...I can do ten thousand other things, plus I'm used to working around my own illness. The simple fact is that by asking me to prove that I'm ill just stops any progress at all. We don't need that. What we need is COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING and ENCOURAGEMENT. And that's it.
