I am hosting a cosplay event this weekend...and it's two and a bit days out. I'm trembling uncontrollably...my mind is going ten million miles per minute and I'm at the stage where I just don't want to go. It sounds like I'm making a joke, "it's your event, lol, you have to go"...but I really really am absolutely reluctant to go.
I'm overthinking things. My brain always loves to worry about nonsense at the best of times. But now it's "what if it rains? What if it's too cold? What if no one shows up? What if there's no photographers and cosplayers get pissed? What if there's no cosplayers and photographers get pissed? What if it's terrible and people start bitching about me? What if I'm late? What if my cosplay breaks? What if I look like shit and no one likes me?"
It's like a litany, over and over and over again. It gets to the point where I can't even focus on anything else and it's an enormous struggle to do one thing after another without feeling completely overwhelmed.
I'm going to get through it. And it's NOT going to be as bad as my brain says it's going to. I have to take baby steps now and be really organised. My cosplay is done and ready to go. I'm on top of everything. And I'm still being gentle to myself. I'm going to read manga that's not too heavy. I'm going to indulge a little in some of the things that make me feel good. It's about balance...and also being aware of how things affect you.
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